One of the things that kept me from doing everything I wanted to do in college and even high school was the fear of being judged, the fear of what other people would think about me. It took me sitting cross legged on my granddad’s floor in front of a full length mirror to finally realize… If they are not offering me a job, other people’s opinion DOES NOT MATTER.
Standing at 6’2 and well over 250 pounds of course I was bigger than most people I hung out around, and does that affect my confidence, it used to. Does it now–Not one bit. I have come up with 7 “cheats” to gain self-confidence! Sit back, take notes if you want… this is the one time a cheat sheet won’t cause you a trip to the Dean’s office.
1. Kill the negative thoughts.
We’re going to wrap our hands around every single one of those negative thoughts that insist that you aren’t good enough, or that you don’t fit into a certain image and we’re going to kill them RIGHT now. My freshman year I started writing notes in dry erase marker on my bedroom mirror. I’d write “You are beautiful” or “Don’t let anyone hurt your pride today.” That may sound like it doesn’t matter, but it does. A lot of low-confidence comes from other’s opinions of you. When you look at your mirror, you will only see positivity. That positivity will be associated to your day. It WILL help. At one point, I had my friends write the notes and leave them on the mirror whenever they came by. I knew that I wasn’t alone and that meant more than almost anything else.
2. Dress how you WANT to feel.
Whenever I had a bad night and it was time to wake up the next morning, I dressed like I was on top of the world. It doesn’t sound like much, but you dress for how you want to feel. Ladies throw on your best jeans, a nice top that fits, and a pair of heels, boots, or your favorite sneakers and STRUT YOUR STUFF. Don’t let anyone see you sweat, you are beautiful so go ahead and FLAUNT it.
3. Don’t take others thoughts to heart.
Don’t take other peoples opinions to heart. Growing up my granddad used to tell me “Why are you so upset about other people? Don’t let them rent space in your head. That means you’re giving them all the power.” I carry that with me whenever I feel like I’m getting “in my feelings” because of someone else’s actions. Why should anyone have control over your emotions BUT you. You aren’t Pinocchio, so cut loose the strings their holding onto you and be yourself without any repercussion.
4. Tinker with the small things.
If you’re upset and you can’t quite figure out why. Mentally decide why, decide why you’re upset, what makes you that way. Why isn’t your confidence where it should be? Declutter your outer life, and it will for sure have an effect on your emotional life.
5. WRITE IT OUT!
Write out your emotions. Get it ALL out. Write it on paper, on your phone, on your tablet, wherever you need to write it. Write all of the reasons you’re beautiful. DO NOT STOP UNTIL YOU GET OVER 30 REASONS. I know without a doubt that their is. They don’t all have to be physical. Beauty exudes in everything that you do! It comes from your intelligence, your ability to give back, your skills. Keep writing… and before you go to bed every night read over them. If you stop before 30 ask your friends and family. I can guarantee you that you will have that list done in no time!
6. Create an achievement log.
This requires writing again… start a chart and keep it somewhere noone else can find it. Every time you accomplish something; passing a test, helping a neighbor, going the day with a smile, anything. Add it to the chart. Whenever you get in a funk review the chart, and know that you are still pushing and confidence will come!
7. Forgive yourself
Don’t blame yourself for your past. Stop beating yourself up. Smile. Know that no matter what you can’t change the past…. keep going. As your self confidence rises, you will live a happy,more fulfilling life.
These are just a few of my favorite Cheat Sheet Codes to Self-Confidence. Drop yours in the comment section!